HORSEY FUN:

It is not enough for a man to know how to ride; he must know how to
fall. ~Mexican Proverb

Many people have sighed for the 'good old days' and regretted the
'passing of the horse,' but today, when only those who like horses own
them, it is a far better time for horses. ~C.W. Anderson

It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse
does the work and the coachman is tipped. ~Author Unknown

He knows when you're happy
He knows when you're comfortable
He knows when you're confident
And he always knows when you have carrots.
~Author Unknown

Horses are uncomfortable in the middle and dangerous at both ends.
~Attributed to both Christopher Stone and Ian Fleming

A horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves -
strong, powerful, beautiful - and it has the capability of giving us
escape from our mundane existence. ~Pam Brown

The essential joy of being with horses is that it brings us in contact
with the rare elements of grace, beauty, spirit, and fire. ~Sharon
Ralls Lemon

A Hibernian sage once wrote that there are three things a man never
forgets: The girl of his early youth, a devoted teacher, and a great
horse. ~C.J.J. Mullen

A canter is a cure for every evil. ~Benjamin Disraeli

If the world was truly a rational place, men would ride sidesaddle.
~Rita Mae Brown

A man on a horse is spiritually as well as physically bigger than a
man on foot. ~John Steinbeck

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something.
When you're my age, you splatter. ~Roy Rogers

Look back at our struggle for freedom,
Trace our present day's strength to it's source;
And you'll find that man's pathway to glory
Is strewn with the bones of the horse.
~Author Unknown

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This,
however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it
as required. ~Stephen Leacock

Four things greater than all things are, -
Women and Horses and Power and War.
~Rudyard Kipling, "The Ballad of the King's Jest"

A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider
into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.
~Duke of Endinburgh

Wherever man has left his footprint in the long ascent from barbarism
to civilization we will find the hoofprint of the horse beside it.
~John Moore

Small children are convinced that ponies deserve to see the inside of
the house. ~Maya Patel

A horse can lend its rider the speed and strength he or she lacks, but
the rider who is wise remembers it is no more than a loan. ~Pam Brown

One reason why birds and horses are happy is because they are not
trying to impress other birds and horses. ~Dale Carnegie

I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's
sake. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

Spending that many hours in the saddle gave a man plenty of time to
think. That's why so many cowboys fancied themselves Philosophers.
~Charles M. Russell

I go about looking at horses and cattle. They eat grass, make love,
work when they have to, bear their young. I am sick with envy of
them. ~Sherwood Anderson

Somewhere in time's own space
There must be some sweet pastured place
Where creeks sing on and tall trees grow
Some paradise where horses go,
For by the love that guides my pen
I know great horses live again.
~Stanley Harrison

In my opinion, a horse is the animal to have. Eleven-hundred pounds
of raw muscle, power, grace, and sweat between your legs - it's
something you just can't get from a pet hamster. ~Author Unknown

If your horse says no, you either asked the wrong question, or asked
the question wrong. ~Pat Parelli

Gypsy gold does not chink and glitter. It gleams in the sun and
neighs in the dark. ~Attributed to the Claddaugh Gypsies of Galway

A woman needs two animals - the horse of her dreams and a jackass to
pay for it. ~Author Unknown

Horses - if God made anything more beautiful, he kept it for himself.
~Author Unknown

The daughter who won't lift a finger in the house is the same child
who cycles madly off in the pouring rain to spend all morning mucking
out a stable. ~Samantha Armstrong

 

THE LIGHTER SIDE – Horse Terminology
Hock – the financial condition of all horse owners.

Stall – what your trailer rig does at rush hour in an unfamiliar city on the way to a big horse show.

A bit – what you have left in your pocket after you’ve been to your favorite tack shop.

Fence – a decorative structure built to provide your horse with something to chew on.

Horse auction – what you think of having after your horse bucks you off.

Pinto – a green coat pattern found on freshly washed light-colored horses left unattended for 2 minutes in a pasture.

Well-mannered – a horse that hasn’t stepped on, bitten or kicked any human for a week.

Rasp – an abrasive metal tool used to remove excess skin from one’s knuckles.

Longeing or lunging – popular training method in which a horse exercises the human by spinning them in circles until dizzy.

Gallop – customary gait a horse chooses when returning back to the barn.

Nicely started – the horse longes but there is not enough health insurance in the world to even think about riding him.

Colic – gastrointestinal distress in people after eating food at horse fairs and shows.

Colt – what your mare gives you when you want a filly.

Easy to load – only takes 3 hours, 4 men, a 50 lb. bag of oats, and a tractor with a loader.

Easy to catch – in a 10 x 10 stall, that is.

Easy rider – rides good in a trailer…not to be confused with “rideable.”

Endurance ride – end result when your horse spooks and runs away with you.

Hives – what you get when you receive the vet bill for your horse.

Hobbles – walking gait of a human after their foot has been stepped on by a horse.

Feed – expensive substance used to manufacture manure.

Dog house – what you are in when you spend too much money on grooming supplies and pretty halters.

Light cribber – we can’t afford to build any more fencing or box stalls for this buzz saw on 4 legs.

3 gaited horse – a horse that trips, stumbles and falls.

 


THE HORSE HOLLERER

by Joyce McDonald

Horse Whisperers, of late, it seems to me
Are getting too much notoriety.
Mr. Redford certainly paved the way
For them to smile at the bank each day.
I've come up with a new terminology!
Horse Hollerer works for me.
Tell me, if old Dobbin kicked at you
Just exactly what would you do?
Would you whisper, "You're a naughty bay-bee"?
Or would you holler, 'You dirty, rotten NAG"?
If dear, sweet Flicka decided to take a nip
And you didn't move at a fast enough clip,
Would you whisper, "Now you be good, but there's no
rush"?
Or would you holler words that'd make a sailor blush?
We get along great, my horses and I,
But sometimes they're bad and I don't know why.
There's a time to whisper, I think you'll agree,
But sometimes hollering works best for me!!




The Quilty Buckle!!
owned and earned by Chris Marks, Martinsville, IN


click on photo for larger image


FOR THE LOVE OF HORSES
>>>
Dance like nobody's watching,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Work like you don't need money, and
Ride like you can't fall off.
<<<



"You tell a gelding, you ask a mare, but you discuss it with a stallion".


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